Past, Present, and Future: Part 1

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!

"I hope that your soul and your heart find comfort and peace, even through what is going on right now." ~Unknown

A letter to my past self.

Hey kiddo, you got a moment? I have a few things to tell you.

At some point, you’re going to learn the real truth about society and the obstacles girls and women have had to endure. Men will seem to think they have full access to you, openly and freely. They will try to take everything from you: mind, body, and soul. To them you are just a warm body. Theirs to use and abuse. But you aren’t alone. Men have made women and girls feel yucky for decades. Unfortunately, that will only get worse as you become of age.

This is a hard pill to swallow, I know, but you deserve to hear it. This knowledge will keep you safe in the future.

Sadly, this warning comes a little too late, though.

You were so young and yet, already had to experience betrayal from those who were supposed to keep you safe. You were so innocent. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. It was never anything you did, or didn’t do. And none of it was your fault.

You never liked men. You knew why but never said anything. No one knew the secrets you were hiding, the feelings you kept to yourself. No child should ever have to carry that kind of weight. And it wasn’t just a few men that made you feel this way; all of them made you feel gross. It was an uncomfortable feeling and it made you feel awful. You had to learn how to look over your shoulder for any danger that may be looming nearby. You became wary of new people and environments.

You preferred to be alone over spending time with others. You locked yourself in your room and distracted yourself so no one could see the pain behind your eyes. Books became your best friends; new worlds to escape to for when things became unsafe. You could get lost inside a book for hours without ever raising your head. Your love of books is what gave you the passion for writing. You used to write so many short stories and were always so proud of them.

Keep writing because one day you will get to share your story with the world. It will be a long road, but I promise, it will all be worth it. It will shape you into the person you are meant to become. Remember to be strong and brave, and I'll see you soon.

Until, the next Spark,

Kat